Gauss’s Invitation
by Gary Cuba
Rev. Richard Gauss
Denver, Colorado
September 3, 1908
P |
rofessor Doctor Hans Dorfenheimer, Göttingen, Germany
Dear Prof. Dorfenheimer:
In reply to your recent letter, I’m very sorry that I cannot offer any substantial help with respect to your inquiry. If I understood it correctly, you are exploring a possible connection between the unusual seismological & meteorological events that affected Russian Siberia in June of this year, and a queer notion once proposed by my grandfather, Carl Friedrich Gauss, in or about 1820.
Sadly, my father, Eugene Gauss, did not correspond with his father Carl, and consequently, nothing of interest passed to me after Eugene’s death. Or, I should say, nothing passed but his own reflective memories of my grandfather.
Indeed, notwithstanding that Carl Friedrich Gauss was—and is still—universally regarded as the most brilliant polymath of his era, Eugene thought him to be a thoroughly despicable, crass, self-serving and uncompassionate person. That is why my father emigrated to America at the age of nineteen in 1830. So far as I know, he never contacted my grandfather following his relocation to this country.
As to your specific question of whether Carl Gauss had ever visited Russia to discuss his idea of creating, by means of selective cutting and planting, a Pythagorean symbol composed of “enormous swaths of trees” in Siberia, therewith to communicate our sentient existence to “people on nearby planets”: I cannot answer that, lacking as I do any definite knowledge of it. But given the fact of his great reputation within international scholastic circles at the time, I am quite sure Prof. Gauss could have easily gained an audience with the Russian tsar—or entrance to the highest court of any European ruler of the era, for that matter.
But I emphasize that this is sheer speculation on my part. If it happened at all, I suspect it could only have been during the tsarist reign of Alexander I, who (if I have my history correct) was fairly liberal and worldly in matters of this nature. I think it much less likely to have occurred after 1825, under the rule of Alexander’s more insular successor, Nicholas I.
If I may suggest it—and if you have not already done so—you should consider contacting the children of my deceased uncle William (Wilhelm) Gauss, also living in America. William maintained good relations with Grandfather Gauss, and I know they corresponded regularly. Perhaps one of his offspring can provide you with more concrete answers in the form of copies of written documents. I’ve enclosed a list of their names and current addresses with this letter.
Yours Very Respectfully,
Rev. Richard Gauss
P.S. — Being mildly interested in science & technology, I have read a few translated Russian newspaper articles covering the Siberian event in question, as they have filtered their way into the Western press. I remember in particular that these included eyewitness accounts from the indigenous natives living in Karelinski village, near to the site of the disturbance, who claimed to have seen a “bluish-white heavenly body, which for 10 minutes moved downwards” prior to the huge explosion. They described the body as a “pipe,” or cylinder-shaped. It all seemed very odd to me.
Wm. S. Gauss, Jr.
St. Louis, Missouri
December 15, 1908
Professor Doctor Hans Dorfenheimer, Cambridge, England
Dear Sir:
How dare you impugn the reputation of my grandfather, the great Carl Friedrich Gauss! Shame on you, sir; shame on you for suggesting that he in any way instigated the current problems in Europe!
My grandfather was a loving man, a doting father, a gentle soul, generous to a fault, and a true friend of all humanity. If you could but read the many intimate letters that he wrote to my father, William Sr.—which are now in my possession—this would become plainly obvious.
However, copies of these letters will not be forthcoming, as I am convinced you will twist and distort them to serve your own questionable ends. Yes, some of them may be pertinent to your inquiry—specifically, those letters relating to my grandfather’s accounts of his activities between 1820-1825. But I will not give you the pleasure of learning their finer content.
I put it to you, sir: Is it not a much more likely hypothesis that the recent proliferation of gas and electrical lighting used across the globe was the thing that attracted the attention of these “Martians,” whose nefarious engines of destruction now strut unimpeded across the Eurasian landmass? I would certainly think so.
In any event, while I am sorry for your recent personal travails and your forced relocation from your homeland, I remain convinced that this is a European problem, and, in consequence of that, its solution lies rightfully in European hands. You have cannons and armies of your own. America need not become involved in the morass.
The ocean is wide and deep, sir, and we do not have time to intervene with your issues. We have better business to attend to.
Yours,
William Gauss, Jr
Miss Wilhemina Gauss
Sacramento, Calif.
February 4, 1909
Professor Doctor Hans Dorfenheimer, New York
My Dearest Professor Dorfenheimer,
Oh! how my heart ached when I read your recent post. You poor, poor man, to have suffered and lost so much. I am overjoyed that you have managed to reach America in the midst of the calamity that now befalls the rest of the world. Yet I worry that our safety is not secure, that the machinations of our celestial enemy are focused on finding a way to overcome the American continent at this very moment.
I cannot express how sorry I am that my brother William was not responsive to your inquiry. He is a wealthy businessman, conservative in his politics—and I always knew him to be somewhat lacking in basic human compassion. God forgive me for saying this of my own flesh and blood, but it is nothing but the truth.
Yet I am glad to hear that my cousin Richard was more sympathetic to your cause. He is a good man, a kind, God-fearing and discerning individual.
My brother William holds physical claim to those of grandfather’s letters which passed down from our father, so I am unable to provide you with any tangible documentation to support your hypothesis. However, I once read each and every one of those letters, and I remember their contents very well. Even though old age may rattle my body to its bones, my mind remains clear as a crystal goblet.
While it seems a moot point at this horrendous juncture in our world’s history, I can tell you, unequivocally, that my grandfather indeed visited Russia on several occasions— specifically, in 1821, 1823 and 1824. More to the point, as related in his correspondence, he did so in conjunction with his scheme to establish a “Pythagorean message” in Siberia, just as you surmised in your letter. While he knew he would likely not live to see the fruits of his idea ripen, those seeds were nevertheless sown, literally.
It is not surprising to me that no other records of this project can be found. One need only consider the disruptive history of Russia over most of the last century to explain part of it. On my grandfather’s side, he was always known to be reluctant to publish anything before it reached a state of full intellectual maturity.
Here is what I believe, based on the facts as I know them: That my grandfather, Carl Friedrich Gauss, did indeed persuade tsar Alexander I to craft a gargantuan arboreal symbol on the face of the Earth so as to communicate our human intelligence to the universe at large; that this symbol, once it achieved its full-grown glory, was noticed at length by the people on Mars; and that those people, living as they are outside of God’s influence, found the notion of our separate existence so obscene, so abhorrent that they could think of no other recourse but to attack and destroy us. I presume it took them a number of years to develop the means to do this.
I’m quite sure tsar Alexander is now rolling in his grave, since he surely must have believed such extraterrestrial people, if they existed, would pay honor to the Russian Empire as the highest exemplar of the human species—being that the geographic locus of that incredible invitation lay within his borders. Instead, his was the first country to be destroyed by the invaders!
I further believe the Martians blew up the Siberian symbol with some manner of powerful explosive as they steered their massive warship through our Earth’s aether. That would account for the registration on your various & sundry scientific instruments (whose methods of operation will, I fear, forever remain arcane to me). I think these off-world entities did that out of sheer spite, as a means of announcing their presence and malicious intent.
But I am a silly goose, much given to flights of fancy. I read too many romantic fantasies. In truth, I am nothing but an elderly spinster lady who knows nothing of the wider world or of worlds outside this one; nor do I know anything of science or technology. I only know that I am very afraid for all of us.
Please sir, I invite you—no, I implore you: Make your way to Sacramento where you will find succor while you repair your physical and intellectual health. Call it woman’s intuition, but I do not trust the safety of the East Coast.
With Great Fondness and Sympathy,
Weenah (Wilhemina) Gauss
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